Mental Health – My Imperfect Journey

Perfection

October 16, 2019October 16, 2019 Stephanie

I struggle with anxiety in my life partially due to perfection. My anxiety (lets call her Becky, since she’s that perfect cheerleader from high school) tells me I have to do everything perfectly. What’s the point of doing it if it isn’t done perfect. Yep She ruins a lot of things and has stopped me from growing in the past. But no more.

Leadership is not about perfection. The leaders I have looked up to the most in my life have been imperfect, and that is what I loved about them. Leadership like life is about not being perfect, its about trying and failing and then trying again. The belief of perfection being the only option is what keeps you from trying in the first place.

Yes failing sucks, especially as a leader because it could mean you are failing others. But what do you think you are doing if you don’t even try?! FAILING! Failing isn’t fun, but it is just a stepping stone to success. As a leader it is an important step. People need to see that it is hard, see that you don’t have all the answers and that you fail sometimes too. Leaders aren’t to be put on pedestals and looked at as perfect, because that is unattainable.

Leadership is about taking those failures and vaulting forward from them and never forgetting. Telling others about your failures in hopes that it could help them along the way. Its about getting back up and trying again and never giving up.

You will never grow as a leader or a person if you don’t fail. The thing is don’t let that failure keep you down. Learn from that failure, and don’t be afraid to fail again…just don’t fail the same way. And don’t forget to be honest. Own your mistakes and failures, don’t hide.

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Mental Health

Buzzword of the Month

August 7, 2019August 14, 2019 Stephanie

suicide

To me suicide has turned into a buzzword, and what do people do when they hear a buzzword? Tune out. The Air Force wants to do a down day to focus on getting our suicide rates down. That’s great that they are paying attention. But will one day make a difference?

About a month ago I was struggling at work. I had let my emotions take over. I had a lot of change going on and I don’t deal well with change. I made a point to be vocal and speak my frustration to my leaders, and they joked that we have it better than others. My coworker took the time to sit and listen to me and call me out for allowing my emotions to control me. He snapped me out of it, yet my leader never even took me serious.

This is our problem. People always say that they never even realized so and so was hurting. Ask yourself though if you saw/heard that pain would you be there to listen and not judge? Would you make the person feel better or worse?

Last summer I was struggling (it seems to be a summer theme for me). I had told a coworker about my previous mental health struggles and how horrible my experience with military mental health was. I confided in her. Then when I hit a bad spot and realized I needed to go to mental health, that I could no longer handle it alone. I was upfront with my supervisor and my coworker about going to mental health. Mainly because I trust them, but also because I am passionate about trying to de-stigmatize going to mental health and getting help. She heard me talking about it and being open and saw that as a cry for help that I was going to hurt myself. I wasn’t, I have thankfully never been suicidal. Even if I was though, I didn’t need anyone’s judgment. If she thought I was suicidal why did she never talk to me about it. She talked about her concerns to other people, Never me. This is the problem.

If you see someone struggling. Be there. No, you probably can’t say anything to fix it. But you listening and being there is amazing and can make a bigger difference than you can imagine. The first step of lowering the number of people committing suicide is to first care about people, don’t wait for a funeral to be there and be supportive. When you pass someone in the hall, don’t ask how they are and not wait for the answer. Make time for people as humans.

Second, if you have ever struggled be honest about it. Share this, let others know that even you have sat in your car after work crying. You being vulnerable makes people feel safer coming to you when they need someone.

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Mental Health

I AM ENOUGH

July 25, 2019August 14, 2019 Stephanie

Why did I have to pay $600 to recognize that I am enough? I have been on a personal development journey for the last year. That’s great I want to improve. The problem is that I wanted to improve because I felt like I wasn’t enough; not because as humans we should strive to continually learn and improve ourselves. We all need to recognize and vocalize that we are enough and worth of greatness! So think about that today. Recognize that you are holding yourself back by thinking you are not enough. You were put on this earth for a reason. Rejoice and celebrate that you are amazing.

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